The Birth

It's not easy giving birth. Actually it's downright terrifying the first time around. Thankfully, I was born in the 20th century, and even in the developing country where I gave birth to my first child, modern medicine was available and an epidural was an option. I availed myself of all options.

To be fair, it's not easy for the one being born either. My firstborn had a hard time. He was posterior, facing the wrong way, and got stuck. Poor thing. I could have felt sorry for him, if I wasn't concentrating so hard myself.

(Disclaimer: Shut your eyes if you're the squeamish type.) The nurses actually had to climb up on the table, grab my stomach, and turn him over. I'm sure that technique hasn't been practiced in U.S. hospitals for a while, but it worked. He had a few dents and bumps and a cute little conehead for a few weeks, but none the worse for wear. It's amazing how resilient babies are.

Yet it was almost as if he didn't want to be born. He might have been thinking, "Why can't you just leave me alone?? I'm FINE in here! It's warm and cozy, I have all I need--a place to call my own, food-- I'm fine, really!" When I put myself in his shoes, so to speak, I get it. He couldn't possibly have imagined that there were people on the other side, literally a few inches away, who loved him and couldn't wait to meet him and take him out of that hospital to his real home where his life would really begin.

But he couldn't fathom anything outside the womb...which would have become a tomb if he hadn't gotten out of there! He had to leave that world to experience all that this world had to offer. His first breath was a scream because it was terrifying to step out into the unknown.

When I think of what it will be like to die, I think of what it's like to be born. Scary. . . terrifying really. . . Unless you know that there is Someone waiting for you, only inches away, Who has loved you from the beginning of time and can't wait to welcome you home--so you can start living.

And that's not a scary thought at all.

“Do not let your heart be troubled. You have put your trust in God, put your trust in Me also. There are many rooms in My Father’s house. If it were not so, I would have told you. I am going away to make a place for you. After I go and make a place for you, I will come back and take you with Me. Then you may be where I am." John 14: 1-3

The Dandelion

Time travel has always fascinated me. I think it all started when I read Half Magic by Edward Eager when I was a kid. Since then, H.G. Wells, Ray Bradbury, C.S. Lewis and more recently, Diana Gabaldon and Audrey Niffenegger, are authors that have kept me mesmerized with the tantalizing notion of bending the dimension of time and walking (or falling) into a different century, culture, and country.

When we were little, my sister and I used to pick almost-dead dandelions--to us they were delicate little clouds that begged to be blown apart. We would close our eyes, make a wish, take a breath, and blow. My wish usually involved flying away with the seeds, floating high above the trees. Much of my life has, in fact, been filled with traveling and experiencing other 'worlds'--cultures and languages and people.

Just idea of time travel, alternative universes (and 'The Matrix') grab my attention and make me wonder: Is what we see all there is? Physicists have long suspected that there are more than four space-time dimensions. Some believe there are at least ten dimensions. Others say eleven, even twelve are possible. When you start talking about 'string theory' and 'supergravity', it gets way over my head.

But there is something deep in the heart of man that says there is more to life than what we are able to experience from our five senses. Why else would we crave to know about what we cannot see? Why would we peer into the outer realms of the universe to try to understand it, know it, even manipulate it?

Wait. It's almost as if Someone out there is trying to contact us, not the other way around. Could it be that Someone outside of time (and all the other 11 or 12+ dimensions) desires to contact the human race? In order to do that, would He would have to travel to our world, learn our customs, speak our language, dress like us, and generally not scare us to death with what He knows that we don't know?

Or would He come to earth as a baby, small and helpless, as fragile and innocuous as a dandelion? Would He grow up to heal the sick, preach the good news to the poor, cast out demons, speak the truth in love--even die for us, in order to get our attention?

Would He? Is it possible that the Alternate Universe has bent space and time and has already been here?

Close your eyes, take a breath, and imagine that.

"LORD, what are human beings that you care for them, mere mortals that you think of them? They are like a breath; their days are like a fleeting shadow." Psalm 144: 3-4

"Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know." Jeremiah 33:3

The Obvious

Obvious: easily perceived or understood.

Apparently, a stroller is not self-explanatory. One might suppose that the part in the front with the holes for little legs and the seatbelt might be the most logical place for a child, but according to the posted sign at the back of the stroller, (DO NOT PUT CHILD IN BAG), this is not obvious. Hence, the sign. Obviously.

I was chuckling to myself as I passed this scene at the mall, yet I wonder how often God looks down on His creation (say, like. . . me) and just shakes His head and thinks, "It's so obvious! How can I possibly make it any more easily understandable?"

We study the origins of the universe and declare that somehow a 'cosmic soup' formed, and according to the TV program, Nova, "after cooking for billions of years, the cosmic soup is rich enough and concentrated enough to form planets and people." Really.

People? I'm not a scientist, but just the anatomy of one organ, the eye, boggles my mind. How could it have evolved over billions of years, if every nerve, cell, and blood vessel had to have been to be in place at the same nano-second in order for it to 'see'? And what about the intricate balance of the animal and plant kingdom--so delicate that if we kill off even one species of pesky insect, the whole system is off-kilter? How does 'interdependency' fit into a 'survival of the fittest' evolutionary model? It's not so obvious to me.

No one would believe that the bits and pieces of a watch that had been lying on a table for hundreds or even thousands of years could arrange themselves in such a way as to just start ticking on their own and become a Rolex. It would take an intelligent being that had a plan and design in mind and knew about watchmaking in order to make it tick. Obviously.

But when it comes to believing that an intelligent Being created an orderly (and therefore, able-to-be-studied) universe, it's not so obvious. We look everywhere else, try anything else, believe anything else rather than see the obvious:

"In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth." Genesis 1:1

Isn't it obvious?

The Feast

One of these turkeys is gonna get cooked. As Thanksgiving morning dawns, the stuffing is ready to stuff, the table is set, the guests are on their way, and the feast is about to begin.

Our family has a tradition of putting a bean (instead of a kernel of corn--our nod to the Latin side of the family) in a small basket that is passed around as we express our thankfulness for something, anything...one thing.

This year will be a little harder. The table keeps shrinking as we have lost those dearest to us. This year we lost my daddy, and it is hard to be thankful when there is a big gaping hole at the head of our table.

But if I close my eyes and concentrate, I can think of a thousand things to be thankful for as it relates to my dad: his calm presence in my life, his unconditional love and support for me throughout the years, his wit and humor, even to the very last day of his life, his faithfulness to his sweetheart of 64 years, my mom... I could go on. I am incredibly thankful.

And according to the latest research, it's good to be thankful! In one study, even writing down one or two things in a journal once a week produced positive results: the participants felt happier, slept better, weren't bothered by criticism, and were more optimistic overall.

So I choose to be thankful. And I look forward to the day when I will see my loved ones again, at an even bigger and better feast, the feast of the Lamb. And what a feast that will be!

(I hope He serves turkey.)

"People will come from east and west and north and south, and will take their places at the feast in the kingdom of God." Luke 13:29

Trust

The trouble with kids is, they trust everybody. Unfortunately, in this day and age, you have to teach them not to trust anyone. And I mean anyone.

That works counter to our basic instinct. Trust is built into the human framework. Our parents, of course, are the first people we learn to trust; then our extended family, one by one; our neighbors; as we move off to school, our teachers; and the circle rapidly expands to pets, pediatricians, policemen, postmen, pastors....

But there are a few other "p" words that come to mind that are not so friendly, like 'peeper', 'predator' and 'pedophile'. Sadly, we need to teach our children not to talk to strangers, what 'good touch' and 'bad touch' is, and even to be aware of how close coaches, teachers, scout or youth leaders, even other family members come. We see the shattered lives of these young victims in the news every day.

One of our neighbors came from a home like that. She was a young mom who had been sexually abused as a child by her father. Her FATHER. At the time I knew her, she was trying to be a good mom and wife, but she had no basis for what a 'normal' family should look like. At around the age of 30, it all started unraveling. It broke my heart to see how pervasive and far-reaching the effects of her abusive childhood were in her life.

Who CAN you trust these days? Well, maybe from God's perspective, even such despicable evil can be redeemed. It's almost as if He's saying: "When everyone else disappoints you, trust Me. . ."

. . ."Trust Me with your hopes, your dreams, your hurts, your failings,. Trust me with your future, your past, the next step in your relationship. Trust me with your addictions, your gifts, your deep longings. Trust me to take your brokenness and make it into a new creation. Trust Me. Trust Me."

If you can't trust your father or your coach or your teacher, who can you trust? Only the Everlasting Father, the Creator of the Universe, the Good Shepherd, the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords. He never fails. He never disappoints. He is trustworthy.

And that's Trust with a capital T.

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in Me." John 14:1

"In you, LORD my God, I put my trust." Psalm 25:1

Dawn

I wish I could take credit for this photo, but I can't. My brother took it when we were in Tuscany this fall. I wasn't even up yet.

But as I was sleeping, God was not. Every morning He paints the sky with His incredible handiwork. And every morning I miss it. But when I look at this photo, it reminds of all that a day may hold--a new beginning, a fresh start, a great adventure.

Of course, we were on a happy adventure, but more often than not, a new day dawns on less-than-perfect circumstances--the car won't start, the baby is sick, the alarm never went off, you fight with your spouse over some triviality (and instantly regret it), or any of a hundred other things that put you in a bad mood or test your patience or completely devastate you. The beautiful dawn, if by some miracle you (and by that, I mean 'I') even saw it, is the last thing on your mind.

How often we lose our perspective on the really important things of life. When our kids were little, we used to make the long road trips back to Illinois and Iowa for summer vacations with their cousins. Once, on a beautiful summer afternoon in Iowa City, my sister, Karen, was on the floor playing with the three little girls and their Barbie dolls. Tiny shoes, miniature ballgowns, and dozens of Barbies were sprawled all over the living room floor. I was bustling around the house, trying to get them all to clean up so we could go outside and go to the park. I have this frozen snapshot in my mind of my sister looking up at me and saying, "But why? It will all be here when we get back."

It was my 'aha!' moment. How I wish I could wake up in a time warp and have it all back: not only children slamming doors, yelling for popsicles, and scraping knees--but also my sister. She was a person who truly lived in the moment and savored each one of them, and taught me more about myself than I cared to admit at the time. I miss her every day.

I know that I cannot turn back time, but I also know that if I choose to look out the window and really savor the moment, I will see not only a breathtaking dawn, but also a different perspective: a new beginning, a fresh start, a great adventure.

Dawn reminds me in the midst of my not-so-perfect circumstances that God still reigns. And that is a moment I want to savor.

"Your love, O Lord, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies." Psalm 36:5

The Race

My daughter ran the New York City ING Marathon a few weeks ago. And finished.

When I think of what it took to do that, I am awed. It seems like a overwhelmingly colossal undertaking--almost impossible. It takes an enormous amount of training and hard work just to get yourself ready to run a race like that, mentally and physically; but then the day comes, and you're prepared. You've got the shoes, the outfit, your number on the bib--hey, you may even feel like it might be a teeny-weeny bit easier than you had expected!

And then in the middle of the race, you hit your 'wall'--when your body has basically burned up its available stores of carbohydrates, and you go into super-fatigue. According to my daughter, just about everyone hits their wall, some a little sooner, some a little later.

She hit her wall, but she still finished the race. It's as much mental as it is physical, and everyone has their own way of breaking through that wall to make it to the finish line.

Forget a marathon. For me, sometimes it's just hard to get out of bed in the morning. I would rather snuggle down farther into the covers and delay facing all that needs to be done...especially with the holidays coming up. I know that it is sacrilegious to even admit, but I move into holiday season with a little bit of dread mixed in with the jolly ho-ho-ho's. It seems so overwhelmingly impossible to get it all done in a few short weeks. I have hit my wall early this year.

Breaking through the walls of life demands more than we can possibly give. It's at that point, when we are super-fatigued and running on empty, that God steps in and does it for us. When we are not able to take one more step, God carries us to the finish line.

I may not be able to run a marathon like my daughter (or, who knows? maybe I can!), but I know I can depend on a God who loves me enough to carry me to Himself, if I allow Him to refresh me and remind me that I'm not in this race alone.

"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing." 2 Timothy 4:7-8

Gastropods

My only real serious contact with a gastropod has been in a restaurant. My parents used to dress us up occasionally and take us to a gourmet supper club in Chicago called "The Whitehall". Mental snapshots come to mind of crisp linen tablecloths, waiters with white towels draped over their forearms, and me, a 10-year-old, confidently ordering Escargots a la Bourguignonne. Outside of snails floating in butter and garlic, I never have given them much thought.

In fact, before I read The Sound of a Wild Snail Eating, by Elisabeth Tova Bailey, I might have stepped on this little slug, making its way s-l-o-w-l-y down my driveway on a carpet of slime. But after devouring this little book about the lowly gastropod, I was thoroughly enchanted.

Some little-known facts:

• They have 2,640 teeth, 80 rows of 33 teeth per row, which regenerate every 6-8 weeks!
• Their tentacles are equipped with eyes that retract. (so sci-fi!)
• They live in silence. They have no ears. They 'hear' with their eyes.
• Their slime is their 'soul' and the medium for all things gastropod--locomotion, courting, mating, protection.

And, it goes without saying, they are s...l...o...w... In fact, the reason the author became such an expert on snails is that her own life slowed down almost to a complete halt when she was diagnosed in her early 30's with a rare disease that left her bedridden for years. Her main source of distraction was observing a small snail that one of her visitors had planted on some violets that she brought for her.

When I think what I was doing in my 20's and 30's, the mental snapshots come back a little blurry. My pace was the speed of light--rushing from one thing to the next, priding myself on multitasking-to-the-max. The thought of being bedridden, content with watching snails slime their way up a leaf just doesn't compute.

Slowness is so contrary to my nature--if anything is worth doing, it's worth doing FAST. And yet, from God's point of view, slowness is not a negative attribute. In fact, we 'hear' God best when we slow ourselves down and listen for that almost undetectable sound of Him moving through our thoughts, our memories, and our dreams.

I regard snails, even slugs, with a little more respect now. (But that falls short of promising never to eat Escargots a la Bourguignonne again.)

"The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance." 2 Peter 3:7